Sunday, September 07, 2008

I am so screwed . . .

As I mentioned before, I've been thinking about going to Jenny Craig for some help with losing weight, but what has kept me away is having to deal with my assigned "consultant," who will ask me inane questions each week in an effort to be supportive.

Nevertheless, Friday I decided to bite the bullet and went on in to my local Jenny Craig. I almost asked the receptionist if she could assign me to a consultant who would basically leave me alone, but held my tongue. She buzzes "Elizabeth" who comes out to meet me . . .

Elizabeth - Diane? Diane X?

Me - Hi - just one sec while I finish this email . . . (I was responding to a work email on my iPhone)

Elizabeth - you don't recognize me?

Me - mumbles . . .

Elizabeth - is your mom Mary X?

Me - yes . . .

Elizabeth - it's me, Elizabeth Y!

Me - oh, hi, how are you?

Turns out that Elizabeth grew up one street over from my family, but was a few years behind me in school. I basically don't recollect anyone who was a few years younger than me in the neighborhood. Our mothers were friends. My primary memory of her is that when her mom went on vacation, her and her brothers stayed with us for a few weeks. Elizabeth slept in my bed with me, and she wet the bed.

She's pretty new to Jenny Craig, having changed careers when the mortgage industry dried up. She's super hyper, talks constantly, talks over me, and doesn't listen to anything I say so that she keeps repeating the same questions . . .

I am so screwed . . .


Blogger Leo Tolstoy said...

Yikes! Small world......ask for a new consultant, stat!

8:37 AM  
Blogger sage said...

what a great memory, the girl that wet your bed, are you sure you're the one screwed?

9:34 AM  
Blogger Auburn Kat said...

LOL! What are the odds of that happening!!!

3:21 PM  
Blogger LA said...

Oh hell no! That's like a nightmare from hell come true!

7:43 PM  
Blogger sage said...

I meant to say that she's screwed (with your memories). On the bright side, such memories may destroy appetite!

3:41 AM  
Blogger Tiffany Norris said...

Oh my.

10:32 AM  
Blogger Prunella Jones said...

Screw Jenny Craig! Their food is gross, you don't need them. Here are a few of my tips:
1. Eat as many green and crunchy things as you can. The fiber will fill you up and it's cleansing.
2. Limit your shopping to the produce section. Small amounts of lean meat if you must.
3. Before you put food in your mouth ask yourself, "Is this going to be delicious?" If the answer is yes, put it down.
4. Adderall helps too.

Good luck, my sweet!

1:55 PM  
Blogger EditThis said...

When she gets super annoying and has talked over you one more time than you can handle, remind her of the bed wetting.

4:12 PM  

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