The new season of Dancing with the Stars started tonight . . . there are eleven couples, let's see how many I can make it through . . .

First up - Ian Ziering with 2 time champion Cheryl Burke - he's a bit stiff dancing the ChaCha, but could turn into a contender.

The first lady out is Paulina Porizkova - she's still a beauty, and surprisingly likable in the candid video segment. She dances a graceful fox trot. I can hardly wait for the first shots of Ric Ocasek cheering her on from the audience - maybe next week?

Apparently, Billy Ray Cyrus stars in "Hannah Montana" with his real life daughter - what happened to "Doc"? Cyrus describes himself as a Kentucky Hillbilly, which doubtless has those hillbillies with televisions cringing across the south. We have our first candidate for most likely to be voted off. He looks dirty, and he can't dance a lick.

Leeza Gibbons is stiff as a board, and will be reduced to tears by her partner, Tony Dovolani, within 2 weeks - she scores even lower than Billy Ray.













Joey Fatone is hoping to lost "a lot" of weight so he will no longer be known as Joey Fat One (I'm not making this up.) Maybe not dressing him in white pants and vest would help. He and his partner do a fun Saturday Night Fever, but is it a Cha Cha? The judges love it, and immediately crown him the star to beat in the competition.













Laila Ali may not float like a butterfly, but she is graceful and sexy.











(I just took the girls out for their bedtime pee, and missed someone . . . . .)*









Next up, some beauty queen I've never heard of "Shandi" - her partner is kind of effeminate, which makes the banter about their great "chemistry" a tad awkward.



















This season's ex-pro-athlete is former NBA great Clyde - the Glide - Drexler. At 6'7" tall, he is 15 inches taller than his partner, but is a pretty decent dancer. I'd put him higher than Jerry Rice, but maybe not in Emmitt Smith territory.











The moment we have been waiting for - Heather Mills - who describes herself as an animal rights campaigner hoping to inspire the disabled. Everyone is wondering - will the leg fly off in a spin? It will not.





























The last dancer is Apollo Anton Ohno, the Olympic speed skater. He is partnered with an 18 year old professional dancer, who is following him around the world to train with him while he competes in skating competitions. They both decry the lack of practice time, but it is clear that he is a natural, and they are adorable together.

The top picks for the Mirror Ball Trophy? Fatone, Ali, and Ohno.




Note to Getflix - The Ramones were inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2002.

* I missed John Ratzenberger - Cliff from Cheers!