Wednesday, January 10, 2007



Do I dare go back?

A few years ago, I ventured into the world of internet dating, both through Yahoo personal ads and Matchmaker.com. I have friends who met their spouses on Match.com, and those ads for eHarmony sure sound good, but my experiences were generally a little less successful. I did meet some nice guys, but there are a lot of strange people online too. Frankly, I just don't have the energy any more to go out on that many bad first dates. I can't tell you how many times I thought to myself "damn, I could be home on the couch watching tv with the dogs right now . . ." The date that finally put me over the top was the following:

"Bob" seemed like a nice enough fellow. From what I knew, he was divorced, with 2 grown kids, 40-ish, geographically desirable, reasonably successful, self-employed, active etc. We exchanged emails and photos, and decided to meet at a place near the beach for a drink one evening. The night before, we spoke on the phone, and he casually said to me - "I told you I'm an amputee, right?" Me - "ummm, no, how did you lose your limb?" Him - "On the day I was discharged from the army during the Vietnam war, I was driving with a friend and rolled my VW, and they had to amputate my leg." Me - doing some quick math - "Well, unless you were discharged from the army when you were 6, you're a bit older than you claim." Him - laughing - "oh yeah, I find that women in their 30's don't want to meet someone in his '50s, so I carve a few years off my age."

Needless to say, this date was not getting off on the right foot (pun intended), but I figured he would be easy to spot at the bar. We met for a drink the next evening and here are some of the highlights - the photo he'd emailed me was about 15 years old. He was indeed missing a leg, and walked on crutches. This made it difficult for him to grab my ass as we walked through the restaurant, but he managed. Better yet, although he'd been sober for 15 years, now that he was single and mingling, he'd started drinking again. He suggested our next date should be a day at the beach, but I could never figure out how to transport him across the sand on crutches. We didn't go out again.

These days, I figure if I'm meant to meet someone, it will be on the golf course, on an expedition, while hiking, or just generally doing something I enjoy. But every once in awhile I wonder if Mr. Right is just an email away . . .

15 Comments:

Blogger GetFlix said...

I wouldn't online date. That's my overall feeling about it. You current approach sounds practical.

12:28 PM  
Blogger LA said...

I have a co-worker who met her husband on eHarmony. But she's a crazy wack-job, so take it for what it's worth.

12:29 PM  
Blogger M-M-M-Mishy said...

I know two couples who met on Match.com and now they are all trying to convince me to give it a whirl. The only thing I'm convinced about is that I will end up on Unsolved Mysteries.

If I cave in and make a foray into the online dating world, I'll keep you all updated, but don't hold your breath.

12:43 PM  
Blogger M-M-M-Mishy said...

P.S. Bob sounds like a real piece of work. The bum-grab would have the end for him.

12:45 PM  
Blogger EditThis said...

Diane - Don't do it. It's a huge waste of money, and I honestly feel like you'd have a better chance on your own. I say this having recently been on a couple online dating sights myself. Like you, met some nice guys, but none that led to second dates. Or, also, the weird ones. I've found all the people I met who have had successful relationships from there are people who are basically socially inept to begin with.

2:08 PM  
Blogger prunella jones said...

Ugh, Bob the gimp sounds like a real winner. You should have stolen his crutches.

4:11 PM  
Blogger PixieGaf said...

Thats hilarious! You should have kicked the crutches from under Bob's leg once he grabbed your ass.

Diane my general feeling is that dating (online or not)is hard and finding a person you are compatable with is even harder. The only problem I have with internet dating is thatt it makes it a lot easier for the wack-jobs to keep their craziness hidden.

4:33 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

My old roommate used match.com or one of them and they billed him a couple thou$and without telling him the costs in the beginning.

6:02 PM  
Blogger sage said...

I love the Bob story. Ass grabbing with crutches, wow! As far as stealing his crutches (that one of the commentators made), that reminds me of the Flannery O'Conner short story "Good Country Folks."

6:47 PM  
Blogger EditThis said...

Did I mention the guy who asked me, after an hour at a coffee shop, "So...you wanna wrestle?"

9:04 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

thanks, all - it's nice to hear other folk's horror stories too . . . I'm never quite sure if the internet dating world is full of whackos, or if I am just the world's worst judge of a suitable date for myself . . .

9:29 PM  
Blogger prunella jones said...

LOL Sage! I love Flannery O'Connor.

8:09 AM  
Blogger Pope-rah said...

This story is so funny. I went on a date several years ago with a guy I met on Match. I made the other half of Pope-rah and her boytoy of the moment go early to the restaurant so they could get a seat and spy on us in case he was an ax murderer. Good times...

9:08 AM  
Blogger prettykitty said...

is bob still single? he sounds all kinds of sexy.

seriously, everyone i know who has done online dating has horror stories. from married liars, anger mgmt freaks, stalkers, druggies, and a few batterers.

7:43 PM  
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