Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Some helpful tax tips courtesy of The Onion:

  • When beginning your tax forms, make sure to do that thing where you make your calculator read "BOOBS" upside down right away so you don't get sidetracked later.*

  • Pay your owed taxes in pennies. That will get you on the Yahoo! News front page, and it will most certainly make the IRS feel foolish.

  • Not putting that little dash through all of your sevens will result in a prison term of up to three years.

  • You will save significant time between now and the filing deadline if you complete all of your forms in a blind, sweaty panic 12 minutes before they are due.

  • If you are Yngwie Malmsteen, you can write off your subscription to Guitar World.

  • Screw over the IRS and save time and money by making less than $8,950 a year.

  • Be courteous and include a sheet of scratch paper with your forms for the IRS to do math on.

  • It's not widely publicized, but now that all taxpayers are part owners of Merrill Lynch, you can use their bathrooms.

      *psst - I can spell out my last name upside down on a calculator, too!


    Blogger Auburn Kat said...

    HAHA, I love that!

    I am one of those people that puts the dash through my 7's. I started doing it when I was in junior high because that's how my sister always wrote her 7's.

    6:06 PM  
    Blogger Tiffany Norris said...

    Too funny!

    6:39 AM  
    Anonymous Sage said...

    You last name can't be THAT, can it? :)

    7:02 AM  
    Blogger Karen said...

    We filed our tax return a month ago, yea!! :o)

    6:53 PM  
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