Some helpful tax tips courtesy of The Onion:

• When beginning your tax forms, make sure to do that thing where you make your calculator read "BOOBS" upside down right away so you don't get sidetracked later.*


• Pay your owed taxes in pennies. That will get you on the Yahoo! News front page, and it will most certainly make the IRS feel foolish.


• Not putting that little dash through all of your sevens will result in a prison term of up to three years.


• You will save significant time between now and the filing deadline if you complete all of your forms in a blind, sweaty panic 12 minutes before they are due.


• If you are Yngwie Malmsteen, you can write off your subscription to Guitar World.


• Screw over the IRS and save time and money by making less than $8,950 a year.


• Be courteous and include a sheet of scratch paper with your forms for the IRS to do math on.


• It's not widely publicized, but now that all taxpayers are part owners of Merrill Lynch, you can use their bathrooms.

*psst - I can spell out my last name upside down on a calculator, too!